The Evolution of FowlerBalls

Originally founded to pay homage to the greatest super-being since before nothingness exploded into somethingness, FowlerBalls has erected the most magnificent non-phallic but highly sexual monument in the history of the universe. And because FowlerBalls arose back when nothingness existed, it can be understood that FowlerBalls ignited the universe thereby proving that Dexter Fowler is in fact God. This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to Dexter Fowler.

While Fowler continues to endure the Christ-like persecution that has been brought upon him by Major League Baseball's All-Star selection process, Pontious Pilate, and Bryce Harper, he has offered his body and blood (i.e. FowlerBalls) to save every player who dons a Major League uniform. From hereon FowlerBalls will be dedicated to the raising of all Major Leaguers so that they, too, can experience moments of Fowler-like glory. In doing so, FowlerBalls will reveal to them the magnificence of His Kingdom. And they will all be saved.

Glory to Fowler in the highest and peace to His Major Leaguers on Earth.