Dexter Fowler vows vindication. A Major League baseball player for the
Colorado Rockies, this peaceful, friendly animal named Fowler became bloody
roadkill after being run over by the bus named Bryce Harper, whose bigger name
and lesser numbers plowed its way into the 2012 All-Star Game. For the rest of the season, this bus haunted
Fowler, following him on any path he sought refuge. Its passengers hurled obscene
numbers at him from the window. Numbers like:
Pre-2012 All-Star Game Stats
Dexter Fowler Bryce Harper
At-Bats
250 248
Batting Average .300
.282
On-base percentage .389 .354
Slugging percentage .548 .472
Home Runs 11 8
RBI 36 25
Runs 45 43
But Fowler, retreating within himself, persevered. Battling Bryce Harper’s bus demons, he limped
through the remainder of the season before escaping to a cabin where he could heal
himself…and prepare. Posting those
nightmarishly disproportionate numbers everywhere in sight, Fowler began the
painful process of deconstruction in order to rebuild himself piece by piece
into a super-being. On February 16th,
that super-being left his cabin. He
returned to the field, speaking no words about the past – only about the future
of Major League pitching, and his destruction of it.
This blog is dedicated to tracking the super-being known as
Dexter Fowler and his 2013 conquest. To hijack the All-Star Game. To hijack Major League Baseball. To hijack the bus that is named Bryce
Harper.
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