Fowler Hits Walk-Off Single, Keeps Running Directly To Oklahoma

In an ending made for heroes, Fowler hit a walk-off single in the bottom of the tenth inning, giving him a 2 for 6 day with a run, two RBI, and a stolen base.

Spin: One of the more electorally-modifying moments in baseball history occurred yesterday when Dexter Fowler prematurely ended a game in the tenth inning because "there are more pressing world issues that need to be attended to." With the game looking as if it would drag on, Fowler took matters into his own peremptory hands and singled home the winning run, thereby putting a cement stamp on the end of the game. Fowler, after hitting the walk-off single and rounding first, continued using those bird-like legs of his and galloped on out of the stadium and straight to Oklahoma while chanting to himself "there's no place like home." A rare misquote on his part--or was it? Always prone to adumbrate, Fowler proceeded to rebuild disaster-stricken Oklahoma with his bare hands, rebuild simply stricken Kansas with his bare hands, and then--with his bare hands--fuse the two states together. When officials wondered why he thought Oklahoma and Kansas should be one state, Fowler could not be reached for comment as he was already on his way back to Colorado, running with Forrest Gump thrown over his shoulder like a bag of chocolates.