Saturday, June 1, 2013

Altruistic Fowler Helps Struggling Upton

Dexter had a handsome night at the plate, spraying 3 singles and scoring 2 runs in the Rockies' almost-epic-comeback-but-Rafael-Betancourt-once-again-blew-it loss to the Dodgers.

Spin: Some 1400 miles away, a struggling BJ Upton was once again left out of the Braves' starting lineup. Sensing this, the always-acuminous Fowler decided to help out. So he hit 3 singles instead of the previously-planned 2. You see, 2 hits would have been sufficient to elevate his batting average and maintain his contention for a starting spot in the All-Star Game, but Dexter went ahead and hit one more. He immediately mailed that single to BJ Upton, who was sitting on the bench contemplating why his younger brother has a better average, more homeruns, and a name without heavy sexual connotations. The single erected BJ's average from .145 to .150, which, assuming he can get 500 ABs, equates to about $200,000 per hit this season.

No comments:

Post a Comment