Fowler Ill After Too Much Awesome

Fowler was held out of Wednesday's game with an illness, but for some reason batted in the 9th inning when the game was 12-4. He struck out swinging.

Spin:

After going on such a tear as of late and launching himself into the top 5 National League outfielders even though current All-Star voting doesn't even place him in the top 15, Fowler began vomiting up all the Awesome he's been producing prior to Wednesday's game. Awesome, known as a substance far more potent than cocaine laced with cans of spinach, is not something one can consume but is simply something that one is. And Dexter Fowler is. Awesome.

The exorbitant amounts of Awesome Fowler's body produces, however, can at times be too great even for Dexter Fowler to handle. This creates a sort of impossible dichotomy that the universe is so apt to display once it reaches excessive degrees of extremity and can only lead one to ponder: How can Fowler be greater than Awesome but Awesome also be greater than Fowler?

But there, in the ninth inning and in spite of his illness, strode to the plate: Dexter Fowler. With a bucket in hand which he set beside the batter's box, he proceeded to strike out while in the throes of violently heaving into the bucket all the Awesome his body is producing. After his at-bat, he then drank the entire bucket of thrown up Awesome.

This was greater than Awesome. Proving that Dexter Fowler does, in fact, produce more Awesome than Awesome actually exists.