Manager Walt Weiss decided to give Fowler a rest against the Cubs last night.
Spin: Eric Young Jr. filled in for Fowler, and he did about as good of a job as the substitute teacher that filled in for my 4th period English class a few years back. Which is to say, "Really shitty." Said Weiss, "For me, I just felt like it was a good day to give Dex a little break." Yeah, well, for the rest of us it was a horrible day to give Dex a break, giving the paucity of centerfielders in our fantasy lineups.
Fantasy owners can breathe easy, however, since Fowler utilized his off-night to break out of his slump. He skipped batting practice and film-watching in order to find new entrance music. Currently, Fowler is entering the batters' box to the beat of either Bel Biv DeVoe's "Poison" or James Brown's "Super Bad." Obviously, both of these song are filled with hexing lyrics that have most certainly contributed to the paucity (yes, I used it again) of hits in Dex's last 10 games. Fowler will be experimenting with new tunes over the next few games, starting tonight with a revised version of The Tokens' hit song, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." (They're playing the Cubs, get it?) Dex had heavy metal band Five Finger Death Punch re-record the song with this alternate first lyric, "Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away, throw me a fucking first-pitch fastball, and I'll smash it out of the park."
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