Fowler Nurses Hip, Becomes Practioner In The Process

The Rockies had an off night on Monday.

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Following Fowler's 0 for 5 performance on Sunday night, it was revealed that his hip flexor injury required professional care. This naturally led Fowler to drive immediately to Saint Joseph's Hospital where he delivered four dozen autographed baseballs to sick kids before heading to his assigned room where he tended to his injury while also engaging in an out-of-body experience so that he could oversee the process as well. This remarkable demonstration of self-provided healthcare led University of Colorado to promptly award him a degree in nursing even though he has never taken any required courses or, well, any courses at all for that matter. While this award may authorize Fowler to medically treat others, it should be considered as nothing more than a formality as he has been medically treating those in need for an amount of time that cannot be measured much in the same way that one cannot measure Jesus' ability to miraculously heal lepers.