Fowler Works to Combat Illiteracy in Chicago Schools

Fowler had another O-fer night, going for 0 for 4 with 2 strikeouts in the Rockies' loss to the Cubs.

Spin: If fantasy owners are concerned about the precipitous drop in Fowler's average--it's gone down nearly 60 points in the past 2 weeks--they shouldn't be. Alas, Fowler wasn't even playing last night. He actually swapped places with Andre Dawson, who emerged from the ivy in centerfield just like in that insurance commercial, and performed honorably in Fowler's place. You see, Dexter has "doubles" in just about every city, since he's frequently called on to perform heroic deeds. Last night, he tutored struggling middle school students for several hours on a challenging phonics lesson: how to pronounce Samardzija and Sveum, the two unphonetically-correct dickheads who are killing his average. In his 3 days in Chicago, illiteracy rates have fallen nearly as much as his average, and both are likely to rise again once Dexter leaves The Windy City.