Fowler’s 1 for 4 night included a run and stolen base, his
fourth of the season.
Spin:
Intimidated by Fowler’s imminent All-Star season, the Los
Angeles Dodgers used their foreign connections to contact Capcom who subsequently
loaned the Dodgers mixed martial arts master Ryu,
better known as the dude who yells indecipherable shit while hurling balls of
universe force at his opponent. This troubled Fowler not, as he dressed up in
his Balrog-best and rose from the dugout still clearly inspired by Rocky II but
now also inspired by Jean Claude Van Damme who was spotted in the stands calling
himself Guile, and using a dictionary to
explain to others why that name never made sense for the character he played.
Over the course of several innings, Fowler and Ryu collided in one catastrophic
universe explosion whose footage rights were quickly purchased by Trojan. As
the explosion settled and the debris cleared, Dexter Fowler was seen laying in
bed next to the base he stole, smoking a non-filtered Lucky Strike, and watching
Bloodsport while injecting himself with pain he doesn’t feel.
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